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My approach to couples therapy is to work with an individual member of the couple. Often times when relationships are strained and conflictual, it is better to work one on one with the therapist confidentially, before talking with your significant other. By doing so, you can resolve some of your own issues that impact the relationship and grow to understand your spouse/partner in the safety and privacy of the therapist’s office.
With the use of Psychodynamic Psychotherapy, we can identify the underlying couple dynamics and create change.
Some strategies you can use today to support your relationship:
* Pay attention to the language you use. Move away from “me vs. you” language. The more you talk about what works for the both of you, the less strain on the relationship.
* Focus on what works in the relationship. Talk a lot about what you like about your partner and what works in your relationship!
* Be open to learning from your partner, understanding does not always mean agreeing and that is ok.
* Stay with one argument at a time. Do not bring in all past transgressions to a conversation.
* Be gentle with your criticisms. Talk about the behavior you want changed kindly avoid attacking the character of your spouse.